I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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