I'm lost and stupid without you.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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