Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
