tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
FUCK WHALES
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
