Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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