If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Someone shattered a urinal.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
