whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
