the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
