he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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