I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Randomize
