Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
