yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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