piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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