Ambien. No doubt about it.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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