so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
