Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
