The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
