Non-Jews are for practice
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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