fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
i now understand why vodka
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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