Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
