ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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