If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
