Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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