3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
