i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Did I show you my penis last night?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
