I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize