if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
