At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
