I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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