was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
