i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
