If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I have fence marks all over my body
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
