I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
