apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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