Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
