there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
