I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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