i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm at about main and main street
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
i out mim tonsoeep
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
