you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
