i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
