Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize