Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
