Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
