Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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