She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
