Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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