i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
