I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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