i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
As shirtless as possible
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
