What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
