Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
