weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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