I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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