The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
