sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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