I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
