i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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