I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just saw a hot homeless man
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
it's great music for shaving your balls
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
