Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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