we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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