kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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