Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
