so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm passing your future prison.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
