i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
