Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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